How to deal with complaints and whine people? | EmMa Lopes

Deal with complaining, deal with negative people, deal with you can not predict.


Today I want to talk about what happened a few days ago. As you may know and you may be going through too. I am in this path of practicing be present and more connected with my spiritual life. Feel calm, peace, love are results of constant practice of many mind, body and soul practices. Be conscious, gratitude, act with love, meditate…

And, we know that it is wonderful when you go to this vortex of good feelings rapidly. But, sometimes, maybe for the majority, most of time. It is hard to get there. Mainly during the day, when you must work, study, or any other thing that has variables that can affect you. Well, I won’t keep giving examples here of everything we try do better to be better. I want to talk about what we shouldn’t do, but it is hard.


I while ago, I did a month of gratitude challenge, where I could not complain. I can write about this practice in other post, but you can start with the book The Magic of Rhonda Byrne. This cover 30 days practicing some gratitude exercise every day. It is quite interesting and fun, I must say. After this month I become more aware of my complaining, I know when I am complaining just to be social or when I do it because I am out of myself.

So, it was a Friday when I was going back home, and my father called me to give me a ride. “Great!”, I thought. From the second I enter the car until I arrived at home my father was a ocean of complaining. I was out of me, looking the situation. He complained about this day, traffic, family, more traffic… It was so much and so overwhelming that in some point I was feeling physically sic. I arrived at home stressed and nauseated. I went to my shower, because I knew how to get out of the complaining/stressed mode. Hot water, bath music, candle and warm scents works for me. When I was feeling better with the water cleaning me, out and inside. I thought that people are trained for it, even I engage on it sometimes to be social, as I said. “Not anymore” I decided. Them I thought in my poor father, some part of me couldn’t understand. In the ride I was thinking when he complained about traffic: “Man, you have a new car, comfortable, with music equipment, stop complaining”. He is a person that like to talk, I understand that. He is a happy person, most of time, but a lot of time he is complaining. In the shower I started to realise that after the first complain I thought “Here we go…” I expected it from him. And them I was complaining in my head about he complains. And now I am here, write about me complaining because someone where complaining.

Complaint is like a prank of the universe, when you try get out of it, you already are practicing with without realise. It can get you mad. It is a circle of infinite bad feelings.

After the shower, I was feeling better and I decided two things. Never give to this action more energy. If I realise it I would change for gratitude of something else. (I am doing my best).

But, when someone started to throw up reclamations on me, I would give 10x more back. Lies and funny, crazy complains that could make the person think. Why is she complaining so much? Or Is she crazy? Or the person will laugh about the unexpected moment. Anyway, I will change the game to not feel bd again.

Well, it is hard be in peace in a noise place of unconscious talk. But, I know that present, listen the silence in the pauses we can overgrow it. When, like here. Share a funny, crazy or nice way to deal with it.

See you next time,

EmMa Lopes

Author: EmMaLopes

Ser melhor e viver melhor são minhas maiores metas! My biggest goal is live better and be better everyday!

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