Welcome once more.
As kid, lie was easy and can be fun. It is a bit of adventure feeling, but, for me, as adult it makes me tired. It is like to be forced to say what people expect because the truth is something they can’t allow, accept or understand. So, you lie because it is easier, but there are so much work behind it. Connect points, time, proves even.
Almost two years ago I read a book about free yourself throughout truth. But truth for me is not always simple, besides I know the effect in the other person and that it is the correct, if the truth implies, I should ask for help or say “I couldn’t do it”, it is next to impossible for me.
Today I had this moment of choice.
The thing is, my main source of money and current job was manifested by me, but I figure out I didn’t like it very much. I love the people around the place, but that’s it. Most part what I do is bearable, but one thing I really can’t do it. I learn to drive, but I figure out that I don’t like it. It put me under pressure, and I am not a fan of it. One day on every month I should visit some clients, when the day finishes, I am the worse of myself, physically, mentally… in all areas to be honest. For two months nobody talked about it, so my boss questioned me what about those months.
At first, I felt like a child that did something wrong, I asked myself why I felt like that and the answer was easy. You know in a traditional company; people work as you still were in school. The higher positions are the teachers in the lowers on the student with no rights and no voice. Of course, the speech is about free talking, but when you freely talk you are wrong, or even lost part of your salary or any other benefit. Sometimes, even a rebuke aloud that for some it is just a way of push a result. The feeling is the same s the traditional school I studied for a year a long time ago. So, for me the reaction could be very boring and not constructive.
In a second moment, I relax and thought: Well, I will use the vulnerable learn I have from the famous Brené Brown. And it was the chance to feel free one more time, since I have been practicing it for a long time and really is helpful in all situations I have been until now.
So, I said I didn’t like this part of the job, and since the area was full of tourist, I would feel even worse and I felt great since it wasn’t applied those two months. I open myself; I talk about my fear of driving, I open everything. I feel free, I knew nothing could affect me after the power I felt. And I was right. The answer didn’t care about my difficulty, and I will be back shaking in stress in the back of a wheel, but I did it. I still feel great. Most of you may think that I could leave the job and do something I do enjoy. And you are right, I am in the path of that.
Here we have 3 learnings:
- True does free us.
- Vulnerability does power us up.
- And companies are not ready for it.
If you are in a similar situation or pass through it, share what make you change, you move on, you grow out of it.
I hope it helps me.