Welcome to A Note For A Better Life.
I just remember so many things I used to listen to when I was younger. And I cannot put myself out of the crowd.
Of course the ugly about human is more and more out there, in our face. It doesn’t mean we are all ugliness. And this is the beauty of technology, no sarcasm here. All people that are searching to be better, need to face the collective mistakes too. Otherwise, would we notice our human flaws without technology?
Maybe one day, but this makes it quicker to get there.
We are not the canceling generation, we are facing the thing we were used to seeing as children, probably our parents too.
I am not saying this is right too, I am saying, stop pointing fingers.
I remember listening to things like:
Who are you to say that?
You are too young to opine about it.
He doesn’t know how to use the language correctly, how can I listen to him?
He doesn’t have a degree.
What is your surname?
You are just a dreamer.
And there are so many more things that are so usual that we don’t realize we are practicing the ‘canceling’. Nowadays people use groups to do this, but we learn this. People hardly learn to listen and give space to the other existence, and of course, this goes deeper in each of us in many different forms.
I saw a woman being canceled on TikTok and she was very upset because she had degrees in the subject and people were canceling her calling her stupid and all that, but for me, it was clear why. She was canceling many people for not having a degree. We don’t know everything, but when we are treated like dumb for not knowing we won’t be there to listen. (Most of us, at least). I don’t think she was an educator, so we can’t blame her for being a bit rude speaking and not knowing how to separate herself from the degrees she had, and I understand why, she worked hard to that she fells pride for them. But people weren’t canceling her in the beginning, but some ideas that are not so public made people go crazy against her and she was rude explaing it. (Even if was public ideas, nobody must know everything). Some people will disagree with the idea out of ignorance (be patient to explain) and some because normally there are different approaches and point of views in the world, even in the academic world, no matter how much you study a subject there will be people that see that in a different way and will have researchers proving something different of what you believe as though with few exceptions. (More exceptions, maybe all, are in the scientific field).
Well, and why all this post? To say the obvious we all know? Maybe. I am kidding.
To ask how to let go of it or not have this is your life, in our lives!
- There is much reason for someone to be stupid and rude, non will be because of you directly, even if the person directs the speak to your face. Guess what? Here ‘ego work’ works! When you put yourself out of the situation you notice the person had a bad day, a bad education (in the politeness aspect), the culture is different, they are very attached to be part of something, the need to get out of bad feelings putting down other, in other words, not treated psychological issues, big ego… It is never you. So relax and forget it.
- If you practiced canceling on a bad day, in a bad mood. Working is yourself go back in that canceling moment and look for the trigger. Self-knowledge will grow and even on a bad day, you won’t do it again.
- If you believe in one thing, if you are pro-something, study the other side. I had a teacher in college that would let you choose a side on a subject just to ask you to write against it, no matter what it was. So if you were pro-euthanasia, you should write against it and vice-versa. This taught me a lot about myself and the world.
A few days ago I learned about “spiritual” people, people that meditated and studied spirituality in the late XIX that supposedly had insights into superior people here on Earth. This idea came from a monk, a man that went to live in the woods to find knowledge and enlightenment, and another man that would study old books of different religions. Those men started to believe in the idea of a superior race. I didn’t find a connection between them but it was something that appeared when I was studying religions and spirituality in Vienna, soon I gave up to know more about that century(I canceled those crazy dead men). But that made me understand Nazism a bit more. Those ideas started to be accepted by the local elite, I didn’t find the connection either, but I don’t believe it was a coincidence. (Knowing this doesn’t justify it, just helps to avoid it). And I am saying that because if you learn both sides of everything, when is a bad thing you will know how to avoid it to happen again. And you can learn about yourself looking to the other, looking to the opposed idea, looking for what you don’t want. (We already talked about “shadow work”).
4. Learn to listen, not just to accept or change opinion, but to give space to others’ existence. Remember you are that person too, you have flaws, you have guilts, you are no better or worse. “If its sin is great, let your compassion be greater.” Ego work for that. (Not easy, I know).
5. Meditate. (Really Sherlock?) Well, what can I say? You need a those of calmness to be better, act better, and listen shit.
I hope this gives you a new way to observe your mistakes and others. Canceling can be good if used to make you healthier and calmer. Cancel the mind noises and judgments and you will see the wonders.